The three principles that define a good life protect me from desperation, pronounces Guardian correspondent George Monbiot
It came, as these events often do, like a gunshot on a gentle street: shocking and disorienting. In early December, my urine rolled brown. The following day I experienced feverish and located it was difficult to pee. I soon realised I had a urinary tract infection. It was nasty, but seemed to be no big deal. Now I know that it might have saved my life.
The doctor told me this infection was extraordinary in a somebody of my senility, and indicated at an underlying ailment. So I had a blood evaluation, which revealed that my prostate-specific antigen( PSA) heights were off the scale of assessments. An MRI scan and a mortifying biopsy justified my hunches. Prostate cancer: all the smart young men have it this season.
On Monday, I go into surgery. The prostate gland is immersed penetrating in the body, so removing it is a major action: “theres” six entry points and it makes four hours. The procedure will spoof at root causes of my manhood. Because of the damage that will be caused to the bordering guts, there's a great risk of permanent erectile dysfunction. Because the urethra should still be slouse and reattached to the bladder, I will almost certainly tolerate urinary incontinence for a few months, and maybe permanently. Because the removal of part of the urethra disavows the penis, it appears to shrivel, at least until it can be pulled back into shape.
I was offered a select: progressive surgery or brachytherapy. This entails implanting radioactive seeds in the specific areas of the prostrate had an impact on cancer. Brachytherapy has fewer side effect, and convalescence is much faster. But there's a catch. If it fails to eliminate the cancer, there's nothing more that can be done. This care remains the prostate gland to the bowel and bladder, stirring surgery extremely difficult. Formerly you've had one dosage of radiation, they won't give you another. I was told that the chances of brachytherapy are present in my lawsuit were between 70 and 80%. The peculiars were worse, in other words, than toy Russian roulette( which, with one bullet in a six-chambered revolver, gives you 83% ). Though I have a tendency to embrace risk, this was not an enticing option.
It would be easy to blaspheme my blessing and start to ask” why me ?”. I have never smoked and hardly suck; I have a ridiculously healthy diet and follow a severe fitness government. I'm 20 or 30 years younger than the majority of members of “the mens” I see in the waiting room. In other words, I would have had a lower danger of prostate cancer only if I had been female. And hitherto … I am happy. In happening, I'm happier than I was before my diagnosis. How can this be?
The reason is that I've sought to apply the three principles which, I conceive, sit at the heart of a good life. The first is the most important: see how much worse it could be, rather than how much better.
When you are diagnosed with prostate cancer, your circumstance is ranked on the Gleason Score, which values the high levels of aggressivenes. Mine is graded at seven out of 10. But this doesn't tell me where I stand in general. I requirement another indicator to assess the severity of my health, so I developed one: the Shitstorm Scale. How does my situation compare to those of beings I know, who contend with other medical problems or genealogy tragedies? How does it compare to what might well, had the cancer not been caught while it was still- apparently- confined to the prostate gland? How does it compare to myriad other adversities that could have befallen me?
When I completed the practice, I realised that this bad luck, far from being a compel of adversity, is a reminder of how luck I am. I have the love of my family and friends. I have the support of those with whom I toil. I have the NHS. My Shitstorm Score is only an two out of 10.
The tragedy of our times is that, rather than apply the most useful of English proverbs-” cheer up, it could be worse”- we are constantly induced to picture how much better happenings “couldve been”. The rich rolls and influence inventories with which the newspapers are crowded, our wall-to-wall luminary culture, the invidious billions spent on commerce and marketing, create an infrastructure of comparison that ensures we understand ourselves as deprived of what others possess. It is a formula for misery.
The second principle is this: change what you can change, admit what you can't. This is not a formula for passivity. I've wasted my working life trying to alter upshots that might have seemed immovable to other beings. The theme of my latest volume is that government disappointment is, at heart, a downfall of resource. But sometimes we simply have to accept an impediment as insuperable. Fatalism in these circumstances is protective. I accept that my lap is still in sip of the gods.
So I will not rage against the morbidity this surgery might cause. I won't find myself following Groucho Marx who, at the age of 81, excellently mourned,” I'm going to Iowa to rally an award. Then I'm seeming at Carnegie Hall, it's sold out. Then I'm voyaging to France to pick up an honor from the French authority. I'd afford it all up for one erection .” And today there's Viagra.
The third principle is this: do not cause fear principle their own lives. Anxiety hems us in, stops us from thinking clearly and prevents us from either challenging suffering or hiring calmly with the impersonal demises. When I was told that this busines had an 80% opportunity of success, my first thought was ” that's roughly the same as one of my kayaking excursions. And about twice as good as opportunities of arising as a result of those investigations in West Papua and the Amazon “.
There are, I feel, three measures in place to overcoming nervousnes: specify it , normalise it, socialise it. For too long, cancer has been locked in the drawer named Things We Don't Talk About. When we call it the Big C, it becomes, as the call recommends , not smaller, but large in our heads. He Who Must Not Be Reputation is diminished by being identified, and decreased considerably where reference is was becoming topic of daily conversation.
The super-volunteer Jeanne Chattoe, whom I interviewed recently for another editorial, reminded me that, exactly 25 years ago, breast cancer was a inhibition theme. Thanks to the amazing advocacy of its victims, this is almost impossible to reckon today. Now we need to do the same for other cancers. Cause there be no more terrible secrets.
So I have sought to discuss my prostate cancer as I would discuss any other issue. I perform no apologies for subjecting you to the grisly items: the more familiar they become, the less horrifying. In doing so, I socialise my health. Last-place month, I discussed the singular sign indicating that a compassionate society intensifies recovery and abbreviates fatality. In talking about my cancer with family and friends, I feel the adoration that I know will get me through this. The aged programme of suffering in silence could not have been more misguided.
I had intended to use this pillar to implore mortals to get themselves researched. But since my diagnosis, we've discovered two things. The first is that prostate cancer has outdistanced breast cancer to become the third biggest cancer killer in the UK. The second is that the standard assessment ( the PSA blood test) is of limited use. As prostate cancer in its early stages is likely to produce no symptoms, it's hard to see what men can do to protect themselves. That urinary tract infection was a singularly lucky break.
Instead, I urge you to support the efforts led by Prostate Cancer UK to develop a better assessment. Breast cancer has attracted twice as much fund and research as prostate cancer , not because ( as the Daily Mail proposes ) soldiers are the victims of inequality, but because women's advocacy has been so effective. Campaigns such as Men Unitedand the Movember Foundationhave sought to aqueduct this gap, but there's a long way to make. Prostate cancer is discriminatory: for rationales uncharted, black soldiers are twice as likely to tolerate it as white-hot husbands. Meeting better testing and medicines is a matter of both importance and equity.
I will travel this out. I will own this ailment but I won't be defined by it: I will not be prostrated by my prostate. I will be gone for a few cases weeks but when I recall, I do solemnly blaspheme I will still be the argumentative aged git with whom you are familiar.
* George Monbiot is a Guardian columnist
* Prostate Cancer UK can be contacted on 0800 0748383
Source: http :// www.theguardian.com/ us